Thursday, May 9, 2013

Parts and Pieces.

He liked to live life in parts . It must have been an overflow of all that Foucault he read. Structures and perspectives and headings and subtexts were his life . He was obsessed. Life must be compartmentalized for it did not exist in totality . Experience and observation - these must replace understanding, he thought. Now , he had a peculiar way of going about things. He preserved the same moment of time in his memory as separate sensations. Sometimes he would walk in the markets with his eyes covered , just sniffing and listening. Other times , he would plug his ears and watch a play ,seeing and registering. If life could not be meaningful , it must be made varied at least. He never spoke however . His voice , he felt attempted to draw connections between all that he so carefully rendered disjointed. So he never spoke . Experience became an inner mental process and observation became an existential dilemma - ever happening and never ending. But he preserved his voice from becoming this-worldly. He would give no judgement , he would attach no significance to all that happened around him . And so he traveled. Traveled as one who exists and refuses to matter does . So he walked. Walked till the days ended and the earth stretched. Finally he was stuck. A huge block of ice , or maybe it was concrete - no one can know which, blocked his path. To change course would mean exerting his own will. So he stared , smelled and listened. Whatever it was that blocked his path seemed to last for ever so long. Finally , it broke . Broke into pieces, with a huge rumble and spattering dust all around. He stared at the destruction of this rock solid belief with intrigue . Tears ran down his face as his body shook with loud sobs. But no one could hear his voice over the breaking of the barrier . His voice , which broke and shook with the barrier , almost as if in sympathy, was as meaningless as the barrier which no longer blocked and no longer served a purpose . If the boulder was ice, I think the piece he stood on floated away taking his voice with it and if it was concrete , I think a part of it fell in his huge stretched sobbing mouth choking and killing him .